How to love and accept yourself, how to accept yourself and your life, how to love yourself so that others love you
Look in the mirror and say, “I love myself.”
What did you feel when you said it?
Women’s training often begins with such an exercise, and most of the girls, doing it, admit: “Everything seemed to shrink inside. It’s hard to say this to yourself. Maybe I don’t like myself…
At the same time, they can gladly give love and all their energy to their husband, child, parents, work … Forgetting about the most valuable person in life – themselves.
Most often, this leads to a sad result: quarrels, insults to the whole world and apathy.
Let’s understand why unconditional self-love is so difficult for us.
Why is self-acceptance formed?
No one is born with the thought “I am not worthy of love”: this belief comes later. And here are the main reasons why this happens:
- Feelings of shame and guilt. Many from the cradle have heard: “Love for yourself is selfishness. I am the last letter in the alphabet.” With such an attitude, a woman gets used to living by the principle: you can’t take care of yourself too much, the desires of others come first. Instead of a new dress, she buys another toy for her child, instead of reading a book, she spends the evening watching her husband’s favorite action movie …
- Didn’t get enough love as a child. When a girl is little cared for, ignored, often criticized or compared to others, she grows up with a constant feeling: “I’m not good enough. I’m not up to and not worthy of love just like that.” In adulthood, it is difficult for such girls to realize their value and they are often sure that love must be earned.
- Others are better. Prettier, richer, taller, leaner… It’s much easier to fall in love with someone’s perfect Instagram look than it is with an imperfect self. But the habit of looking at the glossy world of social networks works against us: the farther the ideal is from our reality, the less motivation to change something in our lives.
- The reasons are clear, but how can you love yourself again and where to start?
There are several steps that need to be taken for this to happen.
How to love and accept yourself: 3 main steps
When a girl does not love herself, it is not always clear right away. She can spend hours in the gym, dress stylishly and expensively, spend half her salary on beauty salons. But not because all this brings her happiness, but as if trying to show the world: I am good and worthy of your love.
But to really accept and love yourself, you need other methods:
1. Get to know the real you.
When we want to build a relationship with another person, we strive to get to know him better. So in this case: in order to understand and accept yourself, you first need to get to know your inner self:
draw up your portrait: what are your strengths and weaknesses and character traits, what values and principles drive you, what do you like, and what is unacceptable for you;
keep an emotion tracker: every night note how you felt and why.
2. Stop competing.
There will always be someone who has a better car, an apartment, a richer husband, or a prettier house. But when we compare ourselves with others, we often forget that each person has their own path to happiness. The most objective comparison is not with someone, but with your previous version:
- keep a diary of achievements and mark all successes. Even if they seem insignificant. Return to these notes when it seems to you that nothing works out for you and you want to quit everything;
- respect your right to make mistakes – become your best friend, who will always understand and support you.
3. Love yourself in practice.
Take care of yourself, invest time and money in health and development, praise and pamper. Take care of yourself and do not be punished with strict diets, loads and restrictions. This is how you increase self-worth and get into the habit of putting your resource first:
arrange a “Love Day” at least once a month: go to your favorite restaurant, dress up, spend time in harmony with yourself and your desires;
think about what changes you want – in your personal life, work, environment, appearance. Make a clear plan for how to achieve this, and every day take a small step towards the goal.
Another non-obvious way to develop self-love is to compliment other people. This is how the well-known female psychologist Elizaveta Babanova describes this practice:
“At least once a day, make a sincere compliment to another person, preferably a woman. Emphasize her natural beauty, style, or hairstyle, or jewelry choice. The more love we give to the outside world, the more our love for ourselves grows.”
Self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships: with yourself, with others, with the world. To accept yourself, you need real actions and, most importantly, to take them regularly. It’s like fitness: first you need to make a lot of effort to achieve the desired result. And then it remains to maintain shape with proper nutrition and regular training.